When we talk about abusive situations we tend to think of women and girls but we know that men and boys suffer from abuse too.
Sometimes it's difficult to speak your truth for fear of judgement. This is particularly difficult for men because society itself puts so much pressure on men to be quiet about the things that are hurting them. Little boys are taught very early on to be tough and stop crying while little girls are able to express their feelings, cry as much as they want, run around the house screaming if they like (until someone shouts "Enough'...lol) but not little boys. They are taught to dry up those tears quickly and don't be such a wuss! (Yes people still say this to little boys!)
These messages are carried into our adult lives and men continue to bottle up their feelings.
I was speaking to a friend recently (who doesn't mind me sharing) who was speaking about his recent break up from his wife. They have a child together who ended up staying with the mother. My friend said he felt angry because he wasn't a bad father but suddenly due to living arrangements was now a part time parent seeing his child at the weekend instead of all the time. He was ok expressing his anger to his ex wife, but what he didn't express to her was how sad, and worthless not seeing his child on a daily basis made him feel. He said he didn't want her to think he was weak and somehow use this against him.
How sad! Had he been a woman he would have more than likely cried openly and been comfortable expressing sad feelings but being the man that he has been brought up to be, he kept these very real, painful and sad feelings to himself while sinking into self loathing and feelings of not being good enough.
There are lots of examples where men feel unable to speak about the real stuff that's bothering them. Abuse being just one of them. From that uncle or family friend that always wants to come over when your parents are out, (you know the one with the stink breath and dirty shoes who tells you it's 'our little secret') or being severely beaten as a child, or being told that you won't amount to anything, that your stupid or being constantly compared to your siblings. All these things help to compound the very real feelings of low self esteem which is carried around inside and takes away ones ability to open up and heal from the pain of those traumatic experiences.
Maybe you don't trust anyone enough with your truth incase it's used against you but you recognise that you want to be able to speak to someone to help you to be able to find the tools to help you achieve your personal and/or professional goals.
You are not alone. You owe it to yourself to be happy....yes you really do!
I have helped some amazing men unlock their truths by finding a space to work on the
issues that were holding them back from living life they have always wanted.
Make that move and let's arrange your free 30 minute discovery call to get you to where you want to be in life.
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